Billz Blob

Billz Blob
We are all unique and amazing. With this notion bouncing around inside me I offer to the world what I have to share. The words inside my head have reached to overflowing and in an attempt to keep from exploding I have taken to writing. What follows is the result of purging my mind. If you like what you see, SUBSCRIBE at the top of the page.

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Sep 5, 2018

If you have been checking in for the musings or words of yours truly..... In short I have been debilitated by grief. Many may know that my mother Eva Forchion died unexpectedly on June 30, 2018. The two months that have followed this day have all blurred together. My morning call to my mother no longer happens. My evening call, when I walk the dog before going to bed, no longer happens. I no longer receive those whacky inspirational text messages from my mother or the blurry photos of her doing some odd thing or other no longer randomly pop up. Rationally I know that I am not the first to go through this. Yet this is just, wow. My children have been wonderful in sharing their process and helping with my process. My youngest noticed a tear rolling down my face and placed a compassionate hand on my forearm and said nothing. With each of my children we have share the smile of unknowing and long face of sadness as we each deal with death in our personal ways. I do know that my job is to keep living, right now that job is pretty hard.

Dreamcatcher BF

Life is unpredictable

Jul 21, 2018

A little while ago i began writing about grief. I was writing about my discoveries on grief. The writings began with my the death of a close friend and how that death made me shudder, how that death made me re-think living. Not that I had any intention to stop living, I began to look at living very differently. Three weeks ago today my mother died suddenly thrusting me into a revisioning of living after the death of someone close. As I begin my writing will reflect the hole that is in my emotional being and what living with that hole is. Stay tuned as I dropped nuggets of this process.


Fables July 11th

Jul 17, 2018

Here is the recording of my story from the July 11 Fables storytelling night at Next Stage cafe in Putney, VT.


living life

Jul 16, 2018

My blog well has been dry recently. I have been busy living life in the aftermath of my mother's death. Life continues the same as it ever was, it is the living that has become hard. My mother was, one of if not, my best friend. We spoke on the phone daily and sometimes five or six times in a day. (there were many days like that) I continue to work. I continue to care for my children. I have a small hole in my heart where my mother, in her physical form, once was. I am at peace with her death. I am at peace with her life. I miss our conversations. I miss her intrusions, I miss her in my life, even though she is now more present in my life than she ever could have been in life, I miss the soul filled human that was her. I now set out to discover who I am without her here.



Jun 13, 2018

Life is neither easy nor hard it just is. It seems to be what it isn't when we imagine it to be other than what it is. Removing expectation allows Life to be what it is.

tweet tweet

May 17, 2018

#ApoemAday continues on twitter. I am continuing my campaign to write a poem a day as a twitter post each morning. I will continue as long as the spirit moves me. Check it out, like it, retweet it, make a comment. You can find me on twitter  @actorbat. 

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